Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Life You Save May Be Your...Goldfish

(Title inspiration goes to Flannery.)

This morning I woke up to find there was only one fish in the tank. I searched and found what I thought was a dead fish (Lou of Lou and Pea) behind a row of shoes - apparently he had jumped to his death sometime in the night. I buckled Fray-monster into the high chair because I could tell this was going to be a hell of a process.

I should say now that there is a tradition of fish life-saving in the Mayhew-Bergman house. So, I relied on earlier narratives provided by my father-in-law, who, I believe, has saved the lives of two fish. At least. So, hoping no one had told me lies, I used a spatula to pry the dry fish off the floor. He looked pretty dead. Dehydrated. Sad dorsal fin.

I filled a cereal bowl with water and dumped him in it. I put my thumb and forefinger around his body and began moving him around the bowl, hoping to get his gills working. I used the tip of a pen to loosen the dog hair that had dried around his body. Suddenly, Lou did a victory lap around the bowl and breached the water like a Great White off the coast of South Africa.

I squealed; Fray cried.

I dumped Lou back into the tank. Pea nibbled at him for a while. Lou looked good for most of the afternoon...he's awfully still now....


  1. I Bergmans IV - And lo, as the great Sun began its journey back to the heights of summer, breathing life into the world once again, so did Saint Megan breathe life into Lou.

    I Bergmans V - For verily she learneth much from Bob.

    I Bergmans VI - And Lou, like an ichthian Lazarus, did rise again to nibble and be nibbled.

    I Bergmans VII - And it was good.

  2. Lovely! Especially the part about Saint Megan. And the phrase: to nibble and be nibbled.