Right now, my inner-butch is crying - or wait, what would an inner-butch do? swear? okay - my inner-butch is swearing because there are so many awesome sports moments going down this time of year, and she can hardly watch ANY of them due to work and life in the baby-zone. USA's 91st minute goal - missed it. Portugal versus Brazil - missed it. Wimbledon (and even a second of the epic Isner match!) - missing it. Le tour - coming soon - will miss it.
The NBA draft - missed it. But wait! BILL SIMMONS. There are so many comic achievements in his 2010 NBA Draft Diary...his riffs on Cousins, Aminu, Avery Johnson's voice, Karl Malone's '85 outfit - incredible. Some highlights:
If there was ever a year to roll the dice with Cousins, it's 2010. We have a crapload of head-case momentum right now....ESPN's graphics guy gives Cousins "MUST IMPROVE: MATURITY." Knew that was coming and it still made me laugh. That was like giving Ben Roethlisberger "MUST IMPROVE: OFF-FIELD CONDUCT."...By the way, I love whenever someone defends a head case (like we've seen with Cousins this past year) with the "He doesn't drink or do drugs" defense. Oh, even better … so he's NATURALLY a head case?
6:45: Atlanta takes Damion James, the Texas scorer who has a hygiene fetish and showers four times a day. (Not making that up.) He's the Bizarro Pau Gasol.
More importantly, didn't we learn from the 2010 Finals that you can never have enough of this formula: "Ron Artest + live microphone"?
I love Bill Simmons -his encyclopedic knowledge and stream-of-consciousness trivia - I don't care if it makes me an "everyman" kind of sports fan. Everywoman. Whatever. I wish there was a Bill Simmons diary for every sporting event...ever. There.