Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I've Moved!

Hi guys. In an effort to streamline my communications and give you fewer places to go, I'll be blogging now from my revamped site, www.mayhewbergman.com.

Thanks for following my work!
With much gratitude,
Megan

Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Homeland


We're back home in Vermont now. Frasier is eating snow and bossing the dogs around, who are so busy eating birdseed they don't listen. (Watch out, girl! Four dogs = a lot of dirty snow!)

If you want to catch up on the vacation, be warned: I wasn't smart enough to post my updates in the right order, so scroll down to Maximum Funkage and read up.

Resting after "vacation."
Love,
M

Beach Time





After the Dogtor concluded his time at the veterinary conference, we rented a gas guzzler and drove two hours east to Vero Beach, where the people at the front desk said: "Welcome Home."

We took them seriously and felt no qualms coughing all over the place, throwing tantrums in the lobby, using their towels to mop spit up, etc.

Not knowing that we were a family with contagious bugs ranging from stomach flu to RSV, a nice couple stopped and offered to take our picture. Frasier, stealing a move from the pre-teen playbook, decided she was embarrassed to be photographed with her family, and promptly pulled her hat over her face, refusing to remove it.

I tried my best to soak up the sunshine. I think that picture of me has a little bit of a Wilson Phillips video-swagger vibe to it, right? And how handsome is the Dogtor?

Ill-Advised Adventure at Sea World



What happens when you take a bunch of underslept, sick people to Sea World?

Fray started out with a bring-it attitude in the parking lot:



On the way in, we stopped to pose with everyone's favorite killer whale. Frasier sized up the furry whale:


Upon further evaluation, Frasier decided that the furry whale was, indeed, unnatural and something to fear:


Later, we all watched the captive whales doing tricks for snacks from a safe distance.

Zephyr, undaunted by the killer whales, entangled her sticky fist into the beautiful hair of a Brazilian teenager and communed with a parrot.


Hotel Life




I haven't seen Contagion, but maybe it starts with a sun-deprived mama who is so desperate to feel humid air on her skin that she drags her utterly sick children out to the pool?

Yeah. That's right. I convinced myself that the sunshine would be good for my sick girls and we got up and out of the hotel room every day. So while the Dogtor sat patiently in a conference room learning about how to use honey for wound management, I took the Mayhew-Bergman show poolside.

Some dude in a plane spent an hour writing affectionate messages to Jesus in the sky. Frasier stationed herself in the sandbox area, lording over the shovels, and had a melt down when a six-year-old boy with Bieber hair got in the way: "MOM. HE'S NOT LETTING ME DIG MY BEST HOLE."

Maximum Funkage


Initially, as vacation mode set in, I was excited about three things:

1 - Being warm
2 - Spending time with the girls
3 - Kool and the Gang - the band was scheduled to play the vet conference.

Here's how my vacation dreams were crushed:

The girls proceeded to get sicker than sick. Zephyr contracted stomach flu. Frasier came down with a heinous, hacking cough and an ear infection. Both were feverish. Neither slept well.

The Dogtor and I, confident that we could find a way to enjoy a mandatory early lights out (oh life in 1 room together!), brought head lamps and books. Well, in between managing vomit, poop, hacking coughs, and tantrums, I think I read Nabokov once from the light of the bathroom while sitting on questionably clean hotel carpet.

Oh. And Kool and the Gang played at 9PM. There was no way I was getting out of the quiet, dark hotel room. All I could do was sing "Cherish" and "Too Hot" to myself at the pool during the day.

**Bonus: How awesome is Kool here? And can I tell you how hard I struggle to sing along with that first line? It just doesn't work for me. I'm still devastated I missed the show.


A Study in Contrasts



Two Saturdays ago, we pulled out of a snowy driveway and headed to the airport. Later that evening, we were underneath the palm trees in Florida.

The Dogtor had a veterinary conference to attend. The rest of us just tagged along for the "fun." More on the fun, above.